What do you think ?

Until fall 2005 I hadn`t yet internet. I was reading Jasmuheen, Antony de Mello, Paul Ferrini, Marianne Wilkinson, Celestine prophesies, E. Tolle, N.Donald Walsh, Virginia Essene, Gregg Bradden, Osho, Gourdieff, Ouspensky, Krishnamurti, UGKrishnamurti, Deepak Chopra, Steiner, ECayce , Castaneda, Dane Rudhiar, Martin Schulman, Barbara Brennan, Janine Fontaine and many others the like.
And I was happy, very happy with my cats, plants, books, all feeding my openness towards people, life and knowledge.
It was so easy to be luminous and illuminated…I dreamed then of a time when I could write coaching astrology books. Money were few, but we were cared of.
2006 brought me my first camera, bought on loan and a new life seemed to begin. I sometime believed I was already with one foot on the New Earth and to this end I begun to collect all the beauties I could find through the images and pictures I have stocked on my hard disk.
Now I was dreaming about writing books about harmony, beauty and how to build our life in nature using organic materials and beauties.
I dreamed about myself as an architect of the new housing and gardening. In my mind I was always a creator, an architect, the profession that could be of a maximum satisfaction because architecture art is a must everywhere on the New Earth.
I believed in God, Christ, Metatron, Kwan Yin, the many archangels and angels and Mothers that ensured that here on Earth we evolve as it should.
I believed in Pleyadians, Arcturians, Andromedans helping us to become a galactic, evolved, race, I fell in love with Feline people, I felt integrated in cosmos and I felt harmonic in my own heart.
When did it begun the dismantling of a life I fought for teeth & claws?
I don`t know, probably somewhere between fall 2008 and spring 2011, when awful, harsh events and circumstances begun to gather and gain momentum until all of them have forced violently my life dismantling one by one all I have built before.
To what end? I was aware and I knew I was not in denial neither about my life and people it had, nor about me and myself.
Life begun to be hostile and every months took something off, until now when it took my home, my books, my money and all my acquaintances.
To what end?? One is supposed to arrive on the New Earth completely naked??
I now question everything but I didn`t yet found my answers. Do you?
Those that want the New Earth even with the price of their own lives, are indeed crucified thousand times until they are completely exhausted, thwarted and thrown in a miserable life of poverty and isolation. That last one being the emotional “kaput” point in my humble opinion.
Something it is not yet said, could it be something wrong and evil? What is your take?
We,the exhausted ones, should gather together and build communities everywhere it is possible…
What do you think?